I sang this in the back room of the Station at Whitby FF 2009 and I was asked to put the lyrics on here by a big fat bloke. Here they are my portly friend:

To the tune of 'The Sally Gardens'


'Sally's Garden

Down by Sally's Garden I placed my hand one day.
Twas then she told me clearly, I'm sorry but I'm gay.
I prefer shapely ladies who sit down when they wee.
For I fell in love with a lesbian and she would not love me.

In a field by the river I saw her there with Janette
And Fay and Jane and Sarah, but not with Hank or Brett.
My throbbing manhood faded as I knew it could never be.
For I fell in love with a lesbian and she would not love me.

And when I was one and twenty, I asked her how she knew.
She pointed to her skinhead and at her greying tattoos.
And she whispered softly in my ear all the things that she'd do to Katie
For I fell in love with a lesbian and she would not love me.

And when I was one and twenty, I asked her once again
If she would reconsider and have a go with men.
So she went out on the pull one night and met a man named Steve.
Now she is no longer a lesbian and still she won't love me.'



Cheers and sing it with all the power in your heart. A sad song for a sad time.
x