Hmmm, Janie, I'm thinking about the specifics of this trip to DC that you mention in your first post. I'm assuming, from what you said in that post, that both your parents are in their 80's, yes? ...or close to the 80's? This means that they have a limited time frame in which to enjoy any trips they might want to take, before they are permanently prevented from doing so by health setbacks (stroke, heart attack, broken hip, dementia, etc.). The time for them to grab all the gusto they can is NOW.

My recollection of the museum/monument area of Washington DC (and it's been over 25 years since I've been there) is that there is indeed a lot of ground (or, more accurately, pavement) to cover. Lots of buildings, lots of going indoors-and-outdoors. Fortunately it's not hilly territory but, yeah, one needs to have the ability to be mobile, either independently or with the help of one or more of the devices described here.

Autumn would be the ideal time for the elderly to make this trip -- after the dog days of August but before the chill of winter sets in (gotta be prepared for rain, though). However, I can't envision two people of that age making such a tour independently; they would need younger family members or friends to accompany them, keep them safe from thieves on the streets, get medical attention if one of them falls or if anything else goes amiss health-wise, etc.

If your father can't be convinced to tour the DC museums because of the mobility issue, then can he be convinced to travel to Washington and stay in the hotel while your mother takes the tour with other family members? (Perhaps, once he's there and is watching the fun that the others are having without him, he will relent and use a scooter or wheelchair to join in the activities.) Can he be reasoned with by pointing out that he's keeping his wife from doing something she really wants to do, and ought to do NOW, by his refusal to use an appropriate form of mobility assistance? If the answer to these questions is "no", then I agree with those who are recommending that your mother take the trip without your father along.

She may not enjoy the trip as much as she might if your father were with her, but on the other hand she might enjoy having some mobility on her own terms rather than being restricted by her husband's stubbornness. Since she feels so passionately about this trip that she's "mad" (and frustrated) that your father won't go, then I really think she should go, with or without him.

But if she does, then your father ought to have someone look in on him frequently (though not necessarily "babysit" 24/7) to make sure he's getting along (and getting around) all right.

Sharon
(whose parents postponed a trip to celebrate their 55th anniversary, but whose mother literally dropped dead of a massive heart attack before that trip was taken -- and she was 5 years younger than he!)