I liked it enough to nick the tune and put my own words to it - thereby removing that which offends you so much!

Little Boxes

Little Boxes, full of medicine
And homeopathic remedies
Little tablets, pills and capsules
Analgesics for my pains.
There's a white one and a pink one
And a blue one and a yellow one,
There's the one for high cholesterol
And the one that keeps me sane

There's the tinctures and the linctuses
And the Deep Heat and the Actifed
Stuff in spray cans, dropper bottles,
Tins and boxes everywhere.
Then there's Germolene, and there's Vaseline,
And Cetirizine and Glucosamine,
Stuff to make me lose some bodyweight
Or to stop me losing hair.

Simvastatin, Ibuprofen
Antihistamines and simple aspirin
From the doctors and the health store
In their childproof jars and bubble packs.
Then there's minerals and multivitamins
St Johns Wort and cod liver oil.
For diarrhoea or constipation
There's Imodium and Ex-Lax

Every illness has an answer
Every ache and pain an antidote
Take some pills until you rattle
Rub some cream on, twice a day
I guess doctors won't be happy
Till the whole world are hypochondriacs
But there's no pill can stop you dying
And there must be a better way.