. . . and lo ! It came to pass that Daniel shat a great turd, eight cubits and three spans in size, and the lions were sore afraid.

And it came to pass that the king came down to the lions' den to see what manner of man cound survive there.

And Daniel Seized his turd and threw it at random. That crafty fucker Random ducked and the tyrd hit the king.

"Shut !" cries the king

"Riight first time ! "cries Daniel, and the drinks were on the King.

And the king wrought exceeeding wrath.