P.J.,For you and your friend, Joy:
May the long-time sun shine upon you,
all love surround you
and the pure light within you
guide your path.
Sometimes societal conventions ask too much of us. You have to do what feels right in your heart and go with what you can handle. P.J., I am so sorry for your loss...it hurts I know and your little brown kitty knows, too and that is why we have such wonderful little creatures to grace our lives...may you find some peace and solace tonight and each day that you feel such sorrow. You are doing your best and that is all anyone, including you, can ask.
Sending you a warm blanket of love and hugs and sharing your tears,
luvyakat