You should know better than to challenge the Master of Sloth, Mick. Listen, man, I have got a fat old Dachshund here who is so frikkin' lazy that he won't even get up to take a crap or get a drink of water. Nothing will move this dog. He expects ME to lift his leg for HIM when he takes a pee. I am trying to get him employment after years of this indolent and parasitical lifestyle of his which has generated nothing but an endless flow of bills for food and outrageously expensive veterinary treatment. I have submitted his resume to numerous local and national outfits for the following positions:

1. doorstop
2. bookend
3. industrial-strength paperweight
4. air de-freshener (he is damn good at that!)
5. imitation roadkill (you can hardly tell the difference, really...)

So far no responses. I fear that this dog may remain unemployed and a financial burden on me for the rest of his unnatural life!

And you know what?

Spaw is EVEN WORSE than that!

So don't even try to compete with him, Mick. Just accept what cannot be changed. ;-D