I asked for a a scart lead in our local electrical goods shop. When the guy behind the counter asked how long would I like it I replied I was thinking of keeping it permanently.... I had waited years for that to happen!

At the Fylde folk festival one year we noticed that the good people of Fleetwood seem to have an idiosincratic (Is that how you spell it?) attitude towards notices. Ie - The pier will be open all year round from 1st November These toilets are fitted with anti-climb and, in the window of what was obviously an office - This is NOT a ladies toilet. The mind boggles. My favourite though was attached to the door of the joke shop. It simply said "Door Sticks". So I went in and asked for a door stick. You would think people who work in joke shops would have a sense of humour wouldn't you?