What do you call a guitar player with half a brain?...

... A bass player!

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How can you tell if the stage is level at a gig?...

...The drummer is drooling out of both sides of his mouth!

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A drummer goes into a music shop because he wants a change of instrument. (what with all the bad press and everything)

He tells the shop assistant of his desires, and the shop assistant gives him leave to browse to his hearts content.

After half an hour or so, he comes back saying that he'd like an accordion and a saxaphone.

His hopes are dashed however when he is told that, even though he can have the fire extinguisher, the radiator is staying exactly where it is.