Richard, I expect you qualify for the XXL size, although I can't imagine anyone ever persuading you to wear one.

Here's a nice bit of spin, which you as a lawyer might appreciate. An 82 year old man has just been brought up before the courts, charged with damaging 10 cars over a two week period. All the cars belonged to local Muslims, yet this person claims that his actions were not anti-Islamic. Yet strangely enough, this creep is on the BNP membership list.