Now look. Don't make me come over there. If this is a place where people can dump a rant, that ought to apply to guests too.

You know what? If we would just read, and give basic humane attention to, rants when they come in a thread set aside for them, that would be OK. It really would.

Who the hell am I to say thses things... well one of my day jobs for a LONG TIME has been sorting out organizations that have made themselves sick, including couseling the people on how and why that happened and what fallout remains from it. I don't blow that horn very often here, because I prefer to be just myself here and not be at work when I come here to play.

But today I think I will blow that horn, for a change. Here is your very own, FREE!!! worth THOUSANDS in fees, EXPERT OPINION.

FWIW. *g*

The problem here is not that people say shitty things, it's that we who read them often lack (or forget) good tools for dealing with what we read. We get our own panties in a wad. Some of you prefer to ignore these little hiccups, when you are acting on your own best thinking. Some prefer to respond in a way that tries to be helpful. Some just pray (heavens!!!) Some of us rant back. And we all have what are our best, most rational-at-the-moment reasons for making those choices. I am not talking, here, about the times we lose sight of our thinking and just let fly-- I mean, each of us has some idea what we THINK about good ways to respond.

It's up to each of us to decide what makes sense. BUT THEN a time comes along when WE DON'T DO THAT. We get our own buttons pushed, and go off on someone, or on ourselves (molto uglissimo!!) and then we have this cascade of upset as we all jump in, and rush around trying to fix it.

And what has exacerbated it every time is making a comment on a rant or flame that contains within it a judgment of the CONTENT of the post. I just think that's a bad approach. And now here I am doing it, bigtime, all over those of you who have commented above and in Part One of this thread.

OK, we have this place without rules. If this were a group I was running, I would make a few that would allow discussion to be actually PRODUCTIVE, AND THERE ARE LOTS OF TRICKS IN MY BAG TO DO IT... Damn Capslock! And those of you who PM with me see those tools and tricks in action.

I don't wanna make a rule, here, though, I LIKE the anarchy as much as anyone else.

But here is a PROPOSAL. How about when we lose it and post a judgmental comment, and realize it, we just go back to that thread and post OOPS! And we just MOVE ON???

~Susan

PS-- *!!OOPS!!*