Verse 1 line 3 I am pretty sure is "the man himself was so upset and vexed ...", and verse 3 line 4 I heard as "armpit" rather than "appetite", though neither makes much sense, unless armpit is a euphemism. I sing "if he kept his bottom shaved", and underpants for undershirts in the next line, which seems to be in the spirit of the song. Well, I think it's funnier anyway.

The tune is The Teetotallor Reel.