The worst mistake I can remember making was when I was calling a dance - not singing, though I have cocked up words singing songs in my time.

I was instructing the dance The Cumberland Square Eight which, if you know the dance, has dance movements for the "Top & Bottom couples" which are then repeated by the "Side couples". I was getting on fine until I somehow managed to say "Now, back to the Top and Bollocks couples." which brought a stunned silence from the dancers but noisy hilarious laughter from the band.

Ben Paley, our fiddler, was so amused by this that he immediately texted a friend of his who he knew was also playing for a dance that evening...... He got a swift reply saying, "You think you've got problems - I'm sitting playing between..... and here he named two female musicians that it might be best not to name here ".....and they are both pissed out of their heads!"