I think John may be onto something here!

My great-grandfather came to the United States from Scotland in the mid-1800s. There can be hardly any question about his sexuality, considering that he married and fathered nine children. But—that raises the burning question:   What was happening in Scotland to make him want to leave (other than a very good, well-paying job with the Hudson's Bay Company, but that, of course, is irrelevant)?

Could it not be that sheep-shagging (which obviously leads to other sorts of perversion) had become so rampant that he felt he wouldn't be allowed to lead a normal sex life if he stayed? Would he be shunned? Persecuted? Even subjected to assault because of his sexual orientation? After all, he fancied women. And did he accurately anticipate the now well-established fact (it's a matter of public record) that sheep-shagging would inevitably lead to homosexuality? With pedophilia as the inevitable consequence

He saw a very ba-a-a-a-ad future for Scottish men.

And why, I ask you (wink wink, nudge nudge), do Scottish men run around in skirts?

Don Firth

P. S. And were you aware that the bagpipes have been officially designated as a weapon of war? It's true!