(Sung to the tune of Oh Little Town of Bethlehem)

Oh little town of Washington
How still we see thee sleep
Thy Senate's bare
no one is there
And Nixon's in Palm Beach

Though congressmen forsake thee
We know why they're not here
Thy filth and slime and slums and crime
Might mar their Christmas cheer

With shotguns and police dogs
we guard our homes and stores
Alive we'll stay
this Christmas day
If we don't go outdoors!