Young boy, concerned about the length of his "member" went to the wise old man for advice. The WOM knew that in a year or so it would be similar in length to the boy's friends, so he said, "Every day, rub it with a drop of bear grease. That will put the strength of the bear into it."

A year later the boy came back in tears -- he said that he'd done what the wise old man had said every day, never missing one, but it hadn't worked.

The wise old man said, "And you used a dab of bear grease every day?"

"Well," the boy replied, "we didn't have any, so I used Crisco instead."

"Ai!" exclaimed the old man. "No wonder! That's shortening!