"My hands aren't in the least bit artistic; they're rough and gnarled, rugged as any vagabond or woodsman thus giving testimony to a life of hard rural journeyman labour; soil-stained from the tatties and blistered by the plough; blood-stained from lamb-delivery and pig-slaughter; torn by both tooth and thorn; cut with both axe and bill-hook; leather-hard by the wind and the rain; cracked by the ice and the snow; fire burned at hearth and forge and still smarting from the strap and tawse of childhood...."

Blimey, sounds like a thoroughly terrible affliction to suffer from every day! Poor Mrs. SO'P..