How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
None. The keyboard player can do it with his left hand.
How many banjo players?
four, one to change it and three to complain that it's electric.
How many drummers?
NOne they have a machine to do that now.
How do you know when a singer is at your door?
You don't. She can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in anyway.

A man is visiting Chinatown when he comes upon a curios little shop. He goes in and, amongst the many bizarre things on the shelves, he sees a golden rat. He asks "how much?" and is told "$100 with the story that goes with it or $25 without". the man figures he really doesn't need the story, so he pays the $25 and leaves with the rat. He doesn't get very far when he starts to hear a faint sort of rustling sound. He pays it no mind but it starts to get stronger...and louder...and closer! He turns around to see an army of rats chasing him, with more joining every minute! He runs but alas, they're gaining on him and soon every rat in the city is on his heels! in desperation he throws the golden rat off the Fisherman's Wharf. The rats all follw into the bay and drown. He goes back to the store. The shopkeeper says "I figured you'd be back. Would you like to pay for the story now?" The man replies "NO, but how much for that golden accordian?"

Rich