*getting OFF my hands in order to explain*

-ESS an -ETTE are, to many people, saying 'only' a woman, and many of those endings originated specifically to carry the information that the bearer of the title might not be quite as good as the male equivalent....NOT as an expression of respect.

In some cases, it is useful and proper to note the gender, as in 'waitress' when it helps to identify one among many, but in many other cases, it is irrelevant...as when explaining that "the manager of the store did such-and-such.

Also, some endings simply make the term harder to pronounce and type and spell, and serve only to make 'most' folks wonder why one is bothering to make the gender differentiation. And, yes...in some cases, the neutral form is more awkward, as in "waitstaff" or "waitperson"

*IF* someone is just terribly attached to the more lengthy form....well, *shrug*... they can proceed, as long as they are willing to accept the usual remarks.