"Sage Advice From A Retired Husband"

It is important for men to remember that, as women
grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain
the same quality of housekeeping as when they were
younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them.
Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse
than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled the
situation with my wife, Carol Anne. When I retired a
few years ago, it became necessary for Carol Anne to
get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both
for extra income and for the health benefits that we
needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed
she was beginning to show her age. I usually get
home from the golf club about the same time she gets
home from work.

Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost
always says she has to rest for half an hour or so
before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead,
I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she
gets dinner on the table.

I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club, so
eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-
cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the
dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not
unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours
after dinner.

I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several
times each evening that they won't clean themselves.
I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to
motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For
example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find
time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But,
Boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile
and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out
over two, or even three days. That way, she won't
have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing
lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any
(if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one
of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she
needs more rest periods. She had to take a break
when she was only half-finished mowing the yard.
I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man.

I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly
squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as
long as she is making one for herself, she may as
well make one for me, too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I
support Carol Anne. I'm not saying that showing this
much consideration is easy. Many men will find it
difficult. Some will find it impossible!

Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women
get as they get older. However, Guys, even if you just
use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging
wife because of this article, I will consider that writing
it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this
earth to help each other.

Editor's Note:

Ron died suddenly on August 31 of a perforated rectum.
The police report says he was found with a Calloway
extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed
up his rear end, with barely five inches of grip showing,
and a sledgehammer laying nearby. His wife Carol Anne
was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman
jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty,
accepting her defense that Ron, somehow without
looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.