I just do not write in the way you wish me to write. Tough. I have written more words which have incensed/inspired/infuriated more people than you've had hot dinners, David.

And there we have it, Lizzie writes to incense, inspire and infuriate people. Well I have seen those who are infuriated and incensed, so I know about two out of three so far. I have seen people who agree with her - but to be honest never noticed anyone who has been inspired. But I suppose two out of three is not a bad strike rate.

BBC TVs 'Spotlight' (local news) programme have just rung to say they're sending someone round tomorrow to interview me. I expect they'll only use the quiet bits again, but never mind, because it inspired a few people last time round, so hopefully, it'll inspire a few people this time too.

When you say they are sending someone around to interview you Lizzie why not let them do that? Instead you have clearly decided what you will say in advance - "they'll only use the quiet bits". What will the noisy bits be? I have a certain amount of media savvy, nothing extensive you know, but one thing I have learnt the media do like to do, they ask the questions, you give them the answers to the questions they have asked. Still you never know I suppose you might inspire them too. Or incense or infuriate I suppose, still you have a two out of three chance.

Incidentally what are they interviewing you about? Water charges? Christmas at Ann Summers? Change from one colour coat hanger to anther colour coat hanger? National Trust Training Manuals? Irish public servants on strike? Fat Cats? Minimum wages? Show of Hands? Reg Meuross? Bruce Murdoch? Seth Lakeman? Dyslexia and how to deal with it? Home Education? Degrees for nurses? Being barred from message boards? All of these? None of these?

So as you say, "a few people were inspired last time round", was there a movement about bath handles for people? More importantly a number of people asked what happened when you ranted on TV last time about Vi and her bath handles etc...

It would be nice if you finished off one of these rants occasionally. That helps to inspire us too you know!