If you buy it for me, I'll learn to play it. I have no shame: I'm a member of the Idaho Legion as well as a librarian. In fact, I was elected Legion Arkeyevest two weeks ago and now I have to bring order to the Legion's collection of records (45s, mostly, but some wax cylinders), minutes, books of pressed flowers and labels from gone-but-not-forgotten liquor bottles, taped reminiscences of old liars (some are even on recording tape!), Other Things Too Delicate Or Gross To Mention, and jars of smoke signals.