1) Billy, while visiting grandmother in Wyoming, spotted cowboy walking down the sidewalk.

"Grandma" Billy exclaimed. "Look at that bow-legged cowboy."

His grandmother was shocked and made Billy read Shakespeare every day for the month while he was there. On the way into town, on the last day of his visit, the young boy saw a crowd of cowboys.

Billy turned to his grandmother and said, "Behold, what manner of men are these who wear their legs in parentheses?"

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2) For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day a little fairy happened by and decided to bring them to life.

"You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "That I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want."

The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches.

Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.

"You still have fifteen more minutes," said the fairy, winking at them. "What will you do now?"

Grinning even more widely the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I'll shit on its head."

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3) Little Tommy was the pride and joy of his mother and father. He was very bright and happy little boy. So with no misgivings his parents sent him to kindergarten, certain that he would flourish.

At the end of the first week, Tommy brought home pictures he had coloured. His mother and father oohed and ahhed over the skill he had in drawing houses and trees. They were a bit curious why his drawings were done in black crayon. but they said nothing.

Another week passed and Tommy's pictures were technically correct and well drawn for a 5 year old but still in black. His father said, perhaps he is colour blind. We should get his eyes checked. His mother said no, he could tell me all the colours by the time he was 3. But I will take him for a check up and mention it to the pediatrician.

The doctor said not to worry. Tommy was healthy in every way. However, the pictures still came home in black. The teacher was contacted and she related that Tommy was top of his class in everything, very well liked by all of the other children and showed no signs of any problems, what so ever.

A month in to kindergarten, Tommy's mother was beside herself with anxiety. She made an appointment with child psychologist, who conducted numerous tests, referred Tommy for brain scans, and finally was also stumped. His personality is very well formed for a 5 year old, he is a precocious learner. Perhaps he needs more challenging activities.

By Thanksgiving the fridge and various walls and doors of the family home displayed Tommy's black pictures, black dogs chasing a black ball in a black field, black houses,, black suns, black airplanes, black turkey, everything black. Tommy's grandmother was visiting for the Thanksgiving holiday and noticed all of the black drawings. She immediately asked Tommy, "Why are all of your drawings done in black crayon?" To which he replied, "Because Grandma, by the time the crayon box gets down to my end of the table, there are only black crayons left."