Two of Jim Comstock's stories from the collection "Best of Hillbilly."

   
                                       It Took All the Fun Out of Burnin' the Mortage

One evening a mountain farmer and his wife were sitting on the porch, and he said to her that he had some news to tell her. She said what was it, and he said, "Ma, I've paid the last payment on the farm and just struck a a match to the mortgage to light my pipe. This is all our'n now. Everytime we sell a pig or some eggs, the is our'n, not the bank's. It's a grand and glorious feelin', ain't it?" But his wife was silent and looked sad, and he asked her what ailed her. "Oh, Pa," she sighed, "it's just we have all this, and there's our two daughters a-layin' out there in the cemetary." The man looked sad, too, and just stared down at the floor. "I know it, Ma," he said. "And I know I oughtn't say it, but to tell you the truth, sometimes I'd a heap rather they was dead."


                                                         Nothing To It

Every day for a month old Doc Hyer had been delivering babies all over Nicholas and Webster Counties. Every time the asked the poor girl who it was it turned out to be Morty Martin. It made old Doc Hyer mad. And then when Widow Wilson had triplets and her daughter had twins, Doc hunted Morty down to have it out with him. He cussed him for a while and then said, "Great balls of fire man, hou could you do such a thing:" Morty said shucks, it wasn't nothing, he just got him a bicycle.