Things are picking up around here now that word has gotten around that I have won a T-GORF. The phone won't stop wringing (sic). The newspapers have sent people to interview me. The Dachshund is demanding an increase in his food allowance. Passersby are stopping to gawk at my residence.

I may have to hire security people soon. I had best call up William Shatner and get his advice on how to handle my newfound fame.