"Mudcat Café, it is the place
to come when you have time to waste.
Just post some nonsense to a thread
and you'll be happy that you did!"

"Nah! Mudcat is a waste of time!
Just poppycock and lame-assed rhyme
from people overly pretentious.
I would much rather do the dishes!"

"Oh no, my friend, you miss the point.
It's really an amazing joint!
Where even idiots like me
are welcome. Try it, you will see!"

"Horsefeathers, nuts, and balderdash!
A cesspool full of vapid trash!
I've no use for Mudcat Café!
Now won't you please just go away?"

"No, I won't go until you try it!
I'm not asking you to buy it!
Just post some lines and you will see
how wonderful this place can be."

"Okay, all right, if you insist!
Look, I'm typing! How 'bout this:
'Mudcat Café is full of shit!'
How's that, obnoxious little twit?"

"Oh no! That's not the way it goes!
By making posts you are supposed
to see how great this place can be!
It didn't work! Oh, woe is me!"

"What'd you expect, you silly goose?
You aren't exactly Doctor Seuss!
"Green Eggs and Ham" this poem is not!
Get a life, you stupid twat!"