This is the version from the film "The Gathering" starring Ed Asner. Asner's character attributed it to Kipling but that apparently is not true.


Christmas in the Workhouse

T'was Christmas at the workhouse,
The prisoners all were there,
To partake of Christmas turkey
Which was the bill of fare.

The warden of the workhouse
Proclaimed unto the halls,
"Merry Christmas to you prisoners!"
The prisoners answered, "Balls!"

The warden in his fury,
He swore by all the gods,
"You'll have no Christmas turkey then
You lousy pack of sods!"

Up stood an ancient prisoner,
His voice was cold as brass.
"You can take your Christmas turkey, warden,
And stuff it up your arse!"