Wild field mushrooms are superb, much better than anything you can buy in shops, but my two favourites are parasols, caught just before the cap is fully expanded, and horse mushrooms, mentioned above, picked when the cap is still convex and not in the slightest bit dry on top, and smelling deliciously of aniseed when scratched. A big horse mushroom can be more thaan enough for one, even a greedy bugger like me. These two are best fried in butter with whatever seasoning you fancy, but plain old salt and black pepper are good. Perhaps garlic and parsley, depending on whom you're sleeping with that night. I'm also partial to shaggy ink caps, but it is essential to catch these very young and to run to the pan. You can poach them in milk or fry them quickly. Giant puffballs (not those smaller, wrinkly species) must be used well before the middle turns into more spores than the whole of the human population of the planet, in other words whilst it's still pure white and solid all the way through. You need a beaten egg and some well-seasoned home-made bread-crumbs. Heat butter in a pan. Cut puffball into round slices as thick as your pinkie. Dip each slice in egg, then crumbs, and fry in butter on both sides until all is golden. Serve with kippers. You'll live forever.

If you're picking wild fungi from the ground, cut them just above ground level and keep them the right way up in a basket or something until you get home. If you stack them cap-down, especially if you've simply pulled them up instead of cutting, you'll very likely get soil in the gills and they will be inedible.

Please note that mushrooms fried in any fat other than butter are best served to your enemies, or simply thrown in the bin.