Pete, here are the lyrics you requested. Rated PG :>) Cloud 9 Motel:

I took my wife and kids on vacation To a place where we had never been There was a mix-up in our reservation So for us there was no room at the inn

Now this was at the height of the season When a room was really hard to find We drove around and long about evenin' We found the motel they called Cloud Nine

Now the wife and kids went out to find our room While I unloaded the car Soon the kids came runnin' back excited They said "Hey Dad, this is the best place by far!"

CHOURUS And they said Daddy they got mirrors on the ceiling And you ought to see what's playin' on TV They got whips and chains in the closet And the bathtub'll hold a family Now your bed is shaped like a big heart And Dad, it goes up and down And Mom's so happy she's cryin' It must be the magazines she found

I ran to that room so bewildered T'was there I found my wife in tears Cryin' "Someone please take off these handcuffs, And what's that trapeze doin' in here?"

Just then I saw my youngest A-walking by with something he had found He said "Hey Dad, what the heck is this thing? It vibrates, and makes a hummin' sound"

CHOURUS

I said to my wife, "Now Honey I won't do us any good to bitch and moan In fact, this place has got me thinkin' Let's send the little bastards home"