It is with great sorrow that I must report that Chongo was killed by an improvised explosive device while following a hot lead to Kandahar, Afghanistan. He had wheedled a lift from a group of American soldiers who were taking their armored personnel carrier "outside the wire" on reconnaissance; apparently Chongo believed he could follow his suspect--a notorious international poppy distributor--to his lair in the Kandahar slums. Unfortunately, the APC hit an IED while traversing a culvert only a couple of miles outside the wire, killing two American marines, one photo journalist, and Chongo.

The Taleban has taken credit, in a post on the internet, for "ridding the world of the noxious capitalist Western pig-dog of a chimp".

Services will be held in Chicago at a speakeasy of unknown address.


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