My wife and I go as tourists every two years. Hawaii offers you anything you want. We have had moments of pure magic there. For example, when we go to Waikiki we go the Marriott on Sunday night to hear the slack key session with George Kuo and other masters of the craft. I don't mind the tourist buzz in Waikiki--they are all just normal people in holiday mode, and the music in some of the hotels can be excellent.
ps
If you want quiet, Hana is great, as is much of north Oahu. Kuauai is magic any time, once you avoid Poipu and Princeville--just take the island bus to Hanalei, and find the Yurt where they have slack key music sessions in the afternoon. etc etc