You bring so many interesting things to Mudcat, Raptor, and you have shared sorrow here also. Your mother must have been a very interesting woman to have brought up such a son. I hope you'll tell us about her when you're ready.

I agree with Pat, once the huge pain of loss passes you can look back at the person and see the good stuff with a new perspective. You are the keeper of those important things, and you can share them and remember and honor them. This doesn't mean the tough times go away, but you learn perspective. My parents died in 1997 and 1998. Sometimes I still have a moment of surprise that they're gone. And there are so many times when I miss them, always on Thanksgiving, and often on occasions when my kids do things that I know they'd enjoy hearing about.

Take care. And hold your friends and the rest of your family close.

Maggie (SRS)