Which (or Witch) doktor iss thiss Sour Kraut, anyvay?

I see Lance Boyles for dermitology and have already met met Abraham Bortz the OBGYN and some ex-military type, Maj. Malcolm Function (ret.), the Director of Security Otto Pilate, Betty Beye, the anesthesiologist and that Native American orderly, Running Sore, among others. I haven't checked with the oncologist to see who's on call today. He's in charge of making the schedule.

Who do we get to zee today?