Ok, in response to the last few jokes:

Have you heard they just put out a mixture of Ginko Biloba and Viagra? It's so you can remember what the f*** you're doing!

Two engineering students meet, and one asks the other where he got the new bicycle. The one with the bike answers, saying "A girl rode up on it, got off, threw off all of her clothes and told me to take whatever I wanted. So I took the bike." His friend answers "good choice, the clothes wouldn't have fit you."

An engineer was walking along one day, when he heard a voice call him from out of a pond. When he got close, he was amazed to discover the voice came from a frog! He picked the frog up, and the frog said "Kiss me and I'll turn into a beautiful princess." The engineer started to put the frog in his pocket, when the frog yelled "Wait, you didn't hear me, I'll turn into a beautiful, rich girl, and I'll be your girlfriend." The engineer looked at the frog and said "Nah, I don't have time for a girlfriend...but a talking frog, now that's cool!"