Hi, Mom!

I've created at new fictional character. His name is Louie Frint. He is a redneck. Yeah, I know "redneck" is an insult, but it's a lot easier to say than "Goddamned bigotted asshole motherfucker". Louie is not a very nice person. He hates blacks, gays, Latinos, Muslims, women and liberals. He also hates atheists even though he himself has not seen the inside of a church since his mom's funeral twenty-seven years ago. He has a "right to life" bumper sticker on his pickup truck's bumper but, in his case, it actually means "right to father illegitimate children without assuming any sort of responsibility". He has fourteen semi-automatic rifles and a footlocker full of ammunition. He drinks beer while driving and throws the empties out the window onto the roadside. He has sixteen large dogs of undetermined breed chained at various places around the front yard of his mobole home. Their principle function seems to be to prevent anyone from attempting to steal any of old cars and trucks which are resting on concrete blocks in that same yard. He has a methamphetamine lab in the woods near his home. He is, in short, a thoroughly useless and disreputable character.

Somebody please kill him.