Your story about Shane is pretty accurate, Amos, you're only off on the timeline. That incident happened a couple of years ago in Toronto when Shane was down there on a short "pleasure" trip. He made the mistake of harassing Miss Ling, who is a Black Belt at the dojo I used to attend in the late 70s. She looks far younger than she is, and she has no patience with idiots like Shane. She gave him a warning. He didn't listen. She then planted her foot so deep in his crotch that it took him about 3 weeks recuperating before he could do much of anything pleasurable. The yell of agony he uttered was heard in Mississauga.

Shane has an unfortunate tendency to yearn for very strong and determined women, women who are completely unlikely to return his prurient interest in them. Examples: Officer Jennifer Dana. Miss Violet Ling. Madonna.

He has yet to meet Madonna, and that's probably a good thing.

Officer Dana, however, does seem to have some kind of protective instinct when it comes to Shane. Sort of like someone rescuing a lost puppy. Accordingly, there is some shred of justification for his fixation on her, and some vague chance that it might be worth pursuing. As far as Miss Ling and Madonna go? Forget it.

*****

Chongo, however, is probably sitting at his desk in Chicago as I type this and looking at his bills for January. Or maybe he's at Duffy's Bar. Or maybe visting Renata. You guys are way off the beam when it comes to Chongo. He's never even been to Afghanistan or Southeast Asia. You have been duped by the spread of false information...or you are yourselves the authors of it. I don't know which.