COme you ladies and you gentlemen, and listen to my ditty
I'll try to keep it sort cuz you're gonna think its shitty
It's about imaginary folks who never come to harm
All raised in the country
Down on Figment Farm

And it's hard to kill the folks who come
From down on Figment Farm!

It doesn't really matter if its knives or IEDs
You can blow 'em up or slice them in the first or third degrees
You can hang them, you can burn 'em.
But their characters are charmed.
Oh its hard to kill the critturs from
Down on Figment Farm.

Yes, it's hard to kill the folks who come
From down on Figment Farm!

Now Shane the Canadian he is a perfect bum,
And more deserving of his death, they simply do not come.
A lecher and a boozer and a slimy ne'er-do-well
If anyone could bump him off, he'd surely end in hell.

But it's hard to kill the folks who come
From down on Figment Farm!

And Chongo is another one, a mythic chimpanzee
If he were real he would be dead, from lead or from V.D.
But as it is no anger ever seems to bring him harm
'Cuz Chongo is a bastard born down on the Figment Farm.

And it's hard to kill the folks who come
From down on Figment Farm!

Now Chongo's little sister he devoutly does ignore,
And Chinga got so desperate that she soon became a whore
And now she runs three houses full of ladies soft and warm,
There's just no way to stop a girl who comes from Figment Farm.

And it's hard to kill the folks who come
From down on Figment Farm!