I could have been a judge, but I never had the maths for the judgin'. I never had it, so I'd had it, as far as being a judge was concerned. They said "what's 2+1?" and I said 3, but they said that wouldn't do because in their system it's 2.

I managed to get through the pirating exams - they're not very rigorous, they only ask you one question, they say 'Who are you?' and I got seventy-five per cent on that."