When I saw this topic on the list of threads, and saw the huge number of posts, I naturally assumed that one of the old threads on this question had been ressurrected, and figured I'd scroll to the bottom to read two or three recent additions.

Boy was I wrong ~ all these many comments have been made within the last couple of days! Which goes to show just how controversial a topic this seems to be (at least to some folks, or to some communities).

My answer: It's OK in some places, not at all OK in others. Suss out the venue first!

If you play an instrument to accompany yourself, of course, you can't hold a songbook at the same time. If the venue provides a music stand, it's probably OK to put your notes, book, binder, etc. on the stand.

Personally, as a performer, I resort to my cheat-sheets on some numbers but don't need 'em on many others. It's a way to expand one's repertoire more quickly, right? I do try to be subtle about it, just glancing down occasionally.

As an audience member, I am not at all offended by a singer referring to notes, but I do not enjoy watching someone read every line from a book. It's disconnects singers from listeners and looks at best awkward and at worst offensive.

If you are too obviously reading an entire lyric, not even trying to look up and engage your listeners, they are going to become uncomfortable. At best, they'll feel sorry for you; they are not likely to feel that they're being entertained.

When you find it necessary to use notes, perhaps you should try to get the crowd on your side with some kind of good-humored self-deprecating introductory remarks about not yet having the song entirely memorized, etc., and then proceed to REFER to your songsheet, trying not to focus on it constantly to the exclusion of your listeners.