On a flight heading for Detroit, Jack was sitting reading the paper when he noticed the guy next to him.

The guy was an emotional wreck -- pale, hands shaking, quivering in fear.

"What's the matter?" Jack asked. "Afraid to fly?"

"Not at all. I've been transferred to Detroit," the guy said. "There's crazy people there! They've got lots of shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs, poor public schools, and the highest crime rate in the country!"

"I've lived in Detroit all my life," Jack replied. "It's not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business, enroll your kids in a nice private school. It's as safe a place as anywhere in the world."

The guy relaxed and stopped shaking and said, "Oh, thank you. I've been worried to death. But if you live there and say it's OK, I'll take your word for it. What do you and your wife do there?"
"Us?" said Jack. "Well, I'm a tail gunner on a Budweiser truck, and my wife volunteers in the north sector guard tower at our kids' school."