Shucks, Kendall. This past July I walked into the hospital at 5:30 a.m for rotator cuff surgery and the admitting clerk wanted $600. I'm not at my best at that hour, especially since they won't let you eat anything, and my wife's worse -- especially since we had a letter from Blue Cross stating that it was all to be covered.

Let's just say that the admissions clerk was going to learn some new, highly colored language when she decided to let us go without paying the money. I don't know if she was psychic or it was the steam coming out of my ears, but something tipped her off.

Couple weeks later the same thing happened to my doctor when his wife was having a baby. He paid, realizing only later that he should have said, "Gee, I left my checkbook at home and I don't have that much on me. Just lay on the floor right here, dear, and...."