I think I need to move into the Imaginary Burn Unit. My "post-herpetic neuralgia" has reached the stage where the primary symptom is a nasty burning sensation when anything (e.g. clothing, sheets, fingers making the mistake of responding to a quiet itchiness) touches the area of the now pretty-much-healed shingles rash on my side. My nerves need some serious therapy.

"You say a virus travelled up you? How does that make you feel?"
"Let's talk about your childhood..."

On the other hand, a swim in a cool Jell-O pit might be more effective. (Ice packs offer some relief, but are not nearly as entertaining.) What flavor is on offer today?