Aaaaaarrrrrrgh! I show them more than just quarter, mateys!

Since becoming a diabetic a couple of years ago and often eating at home before time as a means of diet control if I go out to pubs and such, even when I only get a diet soda or two, I always tip the waitstaff as if I'd eaten a full dinner and had downed a few drinks.
Good things still come to those who but wait, and that quarter was here when I arrived. I'd have never thought of pocketing it either.

My good lady, you sorely misjudge me.....