Young women need to respect themselves FIRST, jade. If the only way that they can feel 'validated' is to dress like tarts or porn queens, then my oh my, what a sad world we have created for our women.

And with due respect, I'm 55 years old, I've been around a little longer than you, my sweetheart.

I have people I know who've been raped, molested, as children, (my own mother amongst them) and I know full well they were not in any way to blame. I also know the damage it can cause. It took my mother over 50 years to even talk about it.

Blatant rape is wholly wrong, there is no excuse for it at all, and the men who carry that out should be punished in the most vicious terms, perhaps giving them to the men of the village or the mothers of the victims is a pretty good idea...I am not a lily livered do gooder when it comes to wrong doing, believe you me.

However, I still abide by what I say, and that is that if a girl leads a man on and then finds herself in a situation she doesn't like, she has to bear some of the blame as to why it happened because she should not have done that in the first place. The man is wrong to step over that line. The woman is wrong to put that line down in the first place.

Im sorry for what happened to you, jade....I really am, and I wish it never had. I know only too well that it leaves deep scars, but the best thing you can do is get those scars to heal, not let them become gaping wounds, because then those who caused them have won. I think you're doing a pretty good job..and I think that already you are in charge of your feelings.