"now to lizzie, yes you have answered some of the things i have put to you, but whenever i try to ask you where the line is, you duck out. the lifting a girls top, a woman who won't stop?"



If women want to go round flashing their boobs 'just because they want to, chances are they're going to get into trouble, more likely than not. And again, they have to take some of the responsibility for that, most of it actually, because if they hadn't done it, they wouldn't find themselves in whatever situation might follow. If a man lifted my top, against my will, he'd end up on the other side of the room, as did a man once who tried to touch my tummy.


I come from a very different time, jade..I went to the toughest school in my area..and my friends did not behave in the way so many young people (and older ones) now do, nor did they live the repressed and awful life that Lox paints above. Most women were NOT raped by their husbands. I've no doubt some were, and that some still are. It happens...and unless we reach the point where a Consent Form is signed each and every time before sex, then things are going to become more and more confusing....and if you have to get someone to sign a consent form, then you are with the WRONG person.

We didn't analyse things, we just knew where the line was. Yes, I'm sure there were some girls who over-stepped it, some are far more sexually active at a younger age than others, but for the most part we got to know boyfriends first...often it was months before anything went further.

It really was frowned upon to sleep with man after man after man, and you were labelled a slag if you did that. That's how society was, but it sure kept the majority of women safe and it was alien to most of us to even consider sleeping with loads of different men.


I have the utmost sympathy for women who've been raped in the most innocent of circumstances, who have done nothing to entice a man, but have simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time, when some bloody nutter has pounced on them. Or who has been the victim of a vicious and planned attack, by a crazy or vindictive relative or colleague. Likewise with young children, both male and female, who have simply been the very innocent victims of ruthless paedeophiles. I also have the utmost sympathy for women who have been raped in an innocent situation but who have then been accused of "she led me on, she was gagging for it!" when no such thing ever happened...

BUT....


..IF a woman HAS put herself into a bloody stupid situation, led a man on, deliberately sent out ALL the wrong messages and then changes her mind, either through fear or plain bitchiness, then she has to recognise that had she NOT behaved that way in the first place that situation would never have got to that point.

I don't see how anyone can disagree with that, but I'm sure some will.

It is damned stupid to believe that 'Oh I can go as far as I want here, because he's a man and he'll stop.' because sometimes that won't happen I'm afraid...and women who think like that are hugely naive.

I still have sympathy for her afterwards, but I also feel that she should look at her behaviour and ensure she never ever puts herself into that situation again, which I'm sure she wouldn't. I'd be far happier if she'd been told before that ever happened that to behave in that way could well bring huge trouble.

I don't 'frighten' my children, jade, but they're street wise and know the rules, they have a huge amount of self respect and respect for others too. Both of them would be first on the scene to help someone if ever they saw something terrible about to happen.

But women need to know that they have a responsibility to keep themselves safe as much as they possibly can, look after themselves as much as they are able, be aware of how 'out of control' behaviour attracts the wrong kind of attention. And that goes for young lads too, because there's one helluva lot of kids out there who are getting themselves into terrible situations because society has removed all the rules. We have separated Love from Sex, turning the first into the second, with no emotional attachment, barely anything more than a physical act at the end of the night, acted out with different people, depending on who's available that evening.

It's shocking and it's terribly, deeply sad.

Men have a responsibility towards women, a huge responsibility.
BUT, women have that same responsibility.


Because one young woman chose to be completely irresponsible, and lied about my friend Paul, he ended up swinging from a tree and his family blew apart. She had no right to tell such terrible lies about her teacher, who was a good and decent man, a wonderful father, a great person well loved and respected in his village and a brilliant history teacher.

But she did, because she thought it was a bit of fun..and because he had, quite rightly, rebuffed her advances, her 'teenage crush'. However, because she was a woman, albeit a very young woman, she was believed automatically right from the start, he was not. And when she finally told the truth, the traumatising damage had already gone too deep inside his dear soul.

We all have a responsibility to each other, and we should never forget that, ever.


And if someone messed with either of my children, they'd have me to answer to, as well as the law.


And no, I don't feel that convincing women into thinking rampant sex is OK is a good thing, Richard. But that's just old-fashioned me talking.   



And Liz, having just seen your post, as I stated earlier on, I know only too well how so many rapes happen because of people who are known to the victim. My own mother was severely molested as a child, took her 50 years to talk about it, just the one time, then she never mentioned it again. I've another friend whose grandfather raped her when she was little, her family chose to never do anything about it, because they couldn't deal with the situation. It blew them apart and that damage is still going on, 40 years later, because even to this day her family won't talk about it. The grandfather died a long, long time ago, with no justice ever having been given to his grandaughter...

So yes, I get it. I get it only too well.

And there is NO guilt involved in those cases, nothing that could have been done to avoid the situation, because those situations were all planned by the men who did what they did to their wholly innocent victims. Their punishment should be the rest of their lives in prison, although I think that even that is too good for them to be honest.