The point you raise about the family blaming me over the car though is a good one. Nevertheless, that does not make the fammily right.

I find it inconceivable that in the circumstances I outlined the rest of the family would not be quite entitled to blame the twit who left the keys in the car door.

And I am sure that in a slightly different scenario where it was a car he had borrowed, and the owner took a civil case against him, the law would say the same.

But in neither case would he be seen as guilty of theft.
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This isn't drift - but I think there is some value in examining the question of whether a victim can bear responsibility in a less fraught context than rape.

It still appears to me that the seesaw view of blame is being accepted uncritically. I think it deserves to be examined because under examination it does not stand up. We are responsible for our own actions, and that responsibility (and any consequent guilt) is not reduced by the fact that other people are also responsible for their actions.