good grief! Anyone can do that, and I thought my post of 2:35PM suggested a couple. But 'gray' means situations that are hard to pigeonhole...it doesn't mean 'exceptions to clear rules in unambiguous situations'.

It must happen thousands of times every day that a woman..or girl.. is not sure herself what she wants to do...and when... and with whom.
If she allows all sorts of preliminaries, then decides "this sort of doesn't feel exactly right at the moment", and makes little mumbled protests that sound very much like the noises she makes when she is totally willing, and then decides that arguing is not worth it...and...well, there are thousands of variations on that theme. IF she says, out loud and very clearly, "Johnny... no...not now!", then he should stop...now... no matter what they have done in the past. It makes no difference whether he understands, agrees, or pretends not to hear..he is in the wrong! Now whether this constitues 'rape' is even harder to decide, because it may be that she would be quite willing later, or in a different place...etc...

'Gray' means that, because the participants were confused, anyone else trying to decide how to judge it if she complains (even just to a girlfriend) cannot easily label the situation. Is he guilty of a serious crime? Or just a lout who should be dumped?

(I hate to invent little scenes, because those who DO want everything to be black or white will pick at it and proclaim that it WAS clear if she even mumbled 'no' briefly...)

Sorry, Lox... but humans and their actions just do not fall into neat little categories. Every situation you describe has counterparts that are just a bit different....which is why I say again, kids (BOTH sexes)need the clearest rules possible drilled into their hormone-driven little brains as early & often as possible!