I do indeed take the point, M. I do not agree but I can indeed see what you are saying.

If we were to 'spend' a limited amount of sympathy then we should indeed spare it for those who have been brutalised through no fault of their own. If however we withhold some sympathy from those we feel may have been culpable are we not in danger of compounding the crime? Imagine how the victim must feel. She has been physicaly and mentaly violated. She has been hauled over the coals in the courts and had her private details discussed by complete strangers. She knows she has been stupid and feels pretty bad about that as well. Then we tell her we cannot spare more sympathy? I don't think I could. Sympathy is free after all.

DeG