I will try be objective here but I cannot express how angry I feel by the post of 5.04 today

There ARE different kinds of rape - we have discussed stranger rape, acquaintance rape and spousal rape in this thread

While stranger rape can be understood by the victim as a random, one-off event, the betrayal of trust in date rape can have a much more devastating effect on a person in the long term.

In addition, the issue of consent in stranger rape is a lot less muddy than in date rape and it is much more likely that the victim will receive sympathy and justice than some of the attitudes we have seen reflected in the initial OP article, and even some views expressed here and will not find herself* (see below) also carrying the burden some of the guilt or self blame in addition to the rape itself

To suggest one form of rape is worse than another is to undermine the battle to combat the scepticism that still surrounds a great many rape cases

I find this view very disturbing and dangerous in its complacency.

Opening up the 'grey areas' of the rape debate does not lead to clarification or better understanding of the offence.

Victims of rape are often humiliated and afraid they won't be believed.
If they have ingested drink or drugs, they may think what happens to them doesn't count.
This shifts the blame from the attack slowly but surely from the perpetrator to the victim.

From there it's not such a leap to accusing someone of "asking for it."

For the abused wife -

Rape is not usually about wanting or love or passion, it is about domination and control.
Rapists dehumanize their victims, and spouses can be as savage or even more so than the classical, bur rare, deranged 'stranger'
They can use tactics such as debasing her self-esteem, telling her she is little more than an appliance to him, or worse.
These men are not only extremely dysfunctional and selfish, they can be dangerous. When angered beyond reason, they may in fact, rape their wives as brutally as any 'stranger' sitting in prison for the same crime and on a regular basis.

From one victim

"When it is the person you have entrusted your life to who rapes you, it isn't just physical or sexual assault, it is a betrayal of the very core of your marriage, of your person, of your trust."


* This is not to ignore research statistics that tell us that almost 3% of men reported a non-consensual sexual experience as adults