As Sherlock Holmes once pointed out, Hawkster, when all likely explanations are eliminated, the one that remains, however unlikely, must be the answer. Consider the possibility, strange though it seems, that this whole Troutsnout game of yours is just a massive opium dream, stirred into being by your suppressed resentment at my frequent sallies against your person, for all of wehich I do no most profusly apologize (indeed, as profusely as I do everything!), and filtered through your own inestimable powers of delusion hallucination imagination..

A