I don't recall where I got this from, I don't think I wrote it....

But for many years, my old dog Bess had to put up with me singing to her;

I've got a dog with seven paws
Bloodshot eyes and savage jaws
her teeth are long and pointed
And her legs are double jointed
And she scratches hamsters' eyes out with her claws

She has other nasty habits
Like chewing bunny rabbits
And she often has a pussy cat for tea
If you say it isn't true, I'll set my Bess on you
And she'll have your ruddy leg off, just you see!

after she died, the song changed to reflect her pup Sam, who we had for another 16 years...